SAINTS
by I-am-the-Peel
Summary: Set during and after SRIV. Now that the Saints are in charge of the galaxy and can travel in time, there is no stopping their maddened pursuit of power. Follow the Saints, as they go on the adventures Volition couldn't let them go on, like travelling in time to meet King Arthur, sell meth in the desert, fight Nazis in the north pole, and meet the faces of their mutual pasts. R&R!
1. Episode One: Stained Red Asphalt

**Hi everyone, this is a new short story series set during and after SRIV. I've written the series in a style of a tv show like Sherlock and Futurama; the first few chapters that are set before SRIV ends are meant to build up the characters we know and love, and then the future chapters, or what I'm calling them as episodes, are meant to parody popular tv shows, movies and books. If there are any ideas, pairings or general quirms you'd like to see and have fixed in this story, leave a review or message me and I'll write them in.**

**I'm also bringing back the old Third Street Authors forum too, so we can all help each other out in bringing the most attention to our stories. Hope you enjoy!**

**Set after 'Welcome Back'**

* * *

Johnny strode through to the Bridge of the ship, his hands scratching relentlessly at the itchy jumpsuit he was forced to wear, and his eyebrows rising at what he saw throughout the windows; the Earth, or rather, it's fiery remains. Johnny sighed as he moved closer and pressed his arm across the window to look further down, hoping to find even a remaining chunk of the planet, but was disappointed at the reality. Johnny's hobby had always been murdering any asshole that got into his way, but with the human race almost extinguished, Zinyak stole the very reason Johnny would get out of bed every morning.

As Johnny started to retreat backwards, Keith entered the Bridge, and was astounded at what seemed like human compassion in the longest-running Saint. Keith always had mixed feelings when it came to Johnny; was he just an unfocused killing machine that the Boss would always favour as his right hand, or did he hold loyalty to his friends, if he even had any? First impressions are always important, and Keith was about to put this to the test.

'It isn't easy is it? Realising everything you've cared about is gone?' Keith queried, Gat was too mesmerised by the Earth's remains to respond to him directly. Keith's lips began to pout slightly further.

'Y'know, when my kill count got to 1000, I thought nobody could top that. But when there isn't anything to add to keep boosting it, it kinda gives you a little perspective.' Johnny observed, Keith couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

'Perspective? Sounds like you're just _jealous_ that Zinyak wiped out the entire human race before you had the chance to.' Keith sneered, now he had gained Johnny's full attention as he turned to face the celebrity, but not for the right reasons.

'Yeah? You sound like an old washed out bitch that had his jaw blown off for spouting shit – You wanna end up just like him?' Johnny roared, he was inches away from Keith's face as he squared up to him, and Keith's patience finally ran out, just as Kinzie entered the Bridge unheard.

'For the last motherfucking time – I am nothing like Julius! The main difference? I'm still breathing, and I'm not going to let a trigger-happy nut like you say shi-'

'Guys!' Kinzie shrieked and interrupted, the two men flinched when they heard her young wailing, and glimpsed at each other to signal a mutual end to their argument to save face. 'Johnny, the Boss wants your help in the simulation, apparently something's come up'.

'And if there's one thing you can rely on a killing machine to do, it's to kill anything that gets in his way, even in a Goddamn daydream…' Keith muttered, fortunately Gat had already left the bridge with Kinzie before he could hear Keith's final remark. As Johnny headed for the simulation pods, he noticed Asha was following him, and it didn't take long to realise the Boss had also called her in for assistance too.

'So if you're one of the first the Boss calls for help against the Zin, that means you must be good at what you do.' Johnny noted in a bewildering state, he struggled to find a starting point for getting to know Asha, who had always been an outsider to the group, even before Johnny returned.

''Good' doesn't even give sufficient credit to my skillset. When a crisis arises, I am always the solution to the problem, no matter the conflicting issues.' Asha affirmed, she had marched past Johnny up the stairs as she didn't care for wasting time on conversing when the Boss was in trouble, and Johnny was taken aback at how emotionless she took to murder.

'Okay…That settles that then.' Johnny concluded, he finished walking up the stairs and entered the room with the simulation pods, where he was greeted by the friendlier Matt, and was still unsure what to think about the Boss forgiving an enemy gang boss that tried to kill him personally.

'The Boss wasn't exactly forthcoming with the details, but judging by his tone and the lack of information, I'd say it's pretty bad. Good luck.' Matt informed whilst helping Johnny and Asha into the simulation pods, Asha firmly nodded at Matt's words whilst Johnny restlessly looked back and forth at everything that was happening, uncomfortable with being trapped into another pod. He didn't have a chance to argue however; as Matt closed the lid and Johnny began to drift away in unconsciousness.

**…**

The Boss crouched himself behind one of the slot machines within the Three Count Casino, waiting anxiously for his superpowers to recharge as he fired a submachine gun frantically without looking across the corner, however the sounds of footsteps and the sizzling of fire grew closer and closer. Just as the Boss's hope seemingly ran out, Johnny and Asha materialised in front of him, and quickly loaded up their rifles upon noticing the blood stains on the Boss's simsuit.

'Brace yourselves you two, Zinyak's pissed over letting us rescue Johnny, so he's trying to hit me where it hurts…Psychologically. Gat, you're not going to like this one bit.'

'It doesn't matter how many of them there are, we'll get it done.' Asha assured, she waved her hands as she raced her frosty cytokinesis in her veins, and revealed herself to her opponent. Astonishingly however, it was just one young man albeit with superpowers, dressed in a ripped tank top and with bloody baggy tracksuit bottoms. 'Wait, this is what's giving you trouble? He's just a kid!'

'I'm stronger than I look!' Carlos furiously snared, he fired a ray of fire towards the MI6 Agent, who defended herself by shooting her own freeze powers to rival Carlos. Johnny helped the Boss up as the two Saints marvelled at the display of fire vs ice.

'Carlos always did like trying to show whose boss…' Johnny muttered, he began firing from his assault rifle whilst the Boss arose and assessed the threat Carlos posed. Apart of him wanted to kill his fallen friend to protect Johnny and Asha, whilst the other half impatiently waited for Kinzie to turn Carlos into an ally again. Time was not on his side, as he had to make a decision.

'Nah, he just wanted to boost his confidence, but that was my job, not his. Give me cover so I can move in and take him down; I don't want anyone else near him.' The Boss insisted, he had switched to his stomping power and loaded up a Grave Digger with explosive ammo, but Asha however struggled to overhear their planning, as she was intent on getting the job done.

The beams of fire and ice collided within the centre of the casino, and as Carlos pushed further forward with all of his might, Johnny did his best to assist in the fight even without his superpowers as he aimed for Carlos' skull. Carlos began to wither in agony as he retreated from his battle with Asha, and aimed to protect himself by spreading fire across the ground he stood on. He began callously shouting for the Boss to reveal himself, wanting explanations for what happened after his death, however wasn't quick enough to spot his former leader sneaking behind him, preparing to use his telekinesis.

'Carlos, the sooner this is over, the easier this'll be for the rest of us…' The Boss protested, he used his telekinesis to wave Carlos into the air like a puppet, and Johnny and Asha watched as he struggled to break free.

'Easier for who? You promised to make a banger out of me, _but you left me to die_! You think, this will hold me?' Carlos questioned with ferocity, he began to scream with agitation and broke free with his blazing body of fire, then switched to his stomping power to immobilise Johnny and Asha, whilst the Boss looked on, charging up his freezing powers.

'Listen to me Carlos; this isn't real! You're just a simulation being controlled by Zinyak! We can help you, make sure he pays for all this bullshit!' The Boss pleaded, he tried a different approach as he held his arms in the air to signal surrender, and Carlos simply glared at him, amazed at how easy it was for the Boss to swallow his pride when his friends were in danger. This wasn't what angered Carlos however, and eventually, the Boss would discover his grave mistake.

'How can you say you'll make Zinyak pay, when you didn't even make all of the Brotherhood pay?' Carlos berated, just as the Boss believed he had reached an impasse, Carlos activated his own telekinesis, entrapped the Boss, and made way with his former leader, whilst the other two Saints were simply baffled at Carlos' words. Johnny arose and began firing his rifle at Carlos, who gradually became a fading figure into the distance outside the Casino.

'What was all that about the 'Brotherhood'? I thought I learnt the Boss had properly avenged Carlos, didn't he?' Asha enquired, her knowledge of the Saints' previous battles was weak as she had only heard a summary from Pierce and Keith regarding her employers' past, but just before Johnny could explain, an omniscient paranormal voice spoke down to the Saints.

'Yes yes, the President with all of his morale and spirit took the battle to the leather-clad and impoverished truck-drivers, but he wasn't a man of his word!' Zinyak scoffed, Johnny's eyebrows clenched as soon as he heard his obnoxious voice speaking down to them from the sky, and Asha reloaded her rifle, foreseeing another fight. 'Your leader was as gullible and arrogant as he is today, and he never even bothered to question whom exactly played a role in Carlos' demise…'

'If he's gullible and arrogant than you, what does that make you? You've had dozens of chances to kill us, but you insist in keeping us in this virtual prison; the Saints tend to break out of prisons, one way or another…' Johnny flared, in all of his rage, he had highlighted the flaws in Zinyak's plans, and as Asha gritted her teeth at the hotheaded Saint begging for trouble, hordes of Brotherhood thugs entered the casinos, wielding shotguns and light machine guns.

'Focus Gat – We have to rescue your Boss before Carlos kills him, now do what you do best and annihilate all these pawns!' Asha ordered, the hostility between the two increased as Johnny only ever allowed two people to order him around, and one of them had their jaw blown off. Johnny leapt into the crowd of thugs with two knives hidden under his knuckles, and smirked as the blood poured onto the slot machines and his own face. Asha wasn't amused at his bloodlust.

'Is that all I am to you? A killing machine? Fuck it, I'm getting bored of this, let's just find the Boss…' Johnny sighed; he was unleashing his frustration onto the Brotherhood by cracking their necks with his bloody paws and slashing their throats with his knives, and as Asha picked for headshots behind him, he was growing very uncomfortable around the new company he found himself in.

**….**

The Boss awakened in an aching daze, his eyes whimpering at the lustre of the many suppression grenades across the wooden table in front of him, and found himself tied to a chair seemingly alone in the darkness to mull over Carlos' words. He saw a small window towards the end of the corridor that was almost completely covered with dust, and the blinds that attempted to hide it flew back and forth with a racket. Before the Boss could analyse his surroundings any further, a familiar voice called out behind him.

'It was on a night like this that you lost me…That you left me.' Carlos whined, the Boss could hear his footsteps behind him growing nearer as the wind grew stronger. 'You promised to make a banger out of me, but you didn't give me the chance.'

'I don't need to say shit; if the real Carlos was still alive right now, he wouldn't be blaming me for your death. He'd be thanking me for watching that bitch Jessica get squished, and putting a bullet in Maero's big skull.' The Boss affirmed, he began shaking his head restlessly whilst sighing, waiting for an opportunity to escape.

'Like me!?' Carlos roared, he revealed himself to the Boss as he jumped in front of the suppression grenades, his entire face and body appearing more intimidating by the blocking of the light. The Boss jumped with franticness as he saw that there was a gigantic hole in Carlos's face now with crimson rivers of blood and tissue looming across his face, just like his corpse. Zinyak was going to pay for this. The Boss gathered himself back together.

'What's done is done, if I could go back and save you, I would, but if there is one thing I did right by you, it was avenging you. Maero's dead – Jessica's dead – The whole fucking Brotherhood is dead!' The Boss snapped, Carlos began circling around the Boss as his simulated face regrew it's bone composition and skin, and he drew out a Quickshot pistol.

'The 'whole' Brotherhood? You never even figured out how I even got kidnapped by the Brotherhood!' Carlos protested, the Boss's eyes widened as he skimmed his eyes across the room for a brief moment, finally asking himself the pertinent question. 'I may not be much of a banger, but I know how to handle myself; they didn't just kidnap me, they knew where I was and hunted me down. That couldn't have happened at all…Well, unless…'

'Unless someone ratted you out. That's what you're getting at.' The Boss finished, Carlos sarcastically clapped his hands as he pretended to prance around him. 'No one in the Saints back then was a snitch. Johnny, Pierce and Shaundi, they had your back. None of them ratted you out. Johnny and I checked all the guys, they had our backs man. For fuck sake, I had your back.'

'Is that…Is that what you think this is all about?' Carlos bewildered, his tone shifted into surprise as the Boss's eyebrows clenched in confusion. 'Boss, I forgive you for not saving me in time, it wasn't your job to watch over me. But why….Why on God's earth…' Carlos pleaded in a saddening tone, then his aggression resurfaced as he kicked the door of a closet next to him, and revealed a familiar face to the Boss, also bound and tied to a chair. 'IS HE STILL ALIVE?'

Donnie's lips slackened with amazement and allowed gushes of blood to spill out of his broken jaw, and spat out a few loose teeth before restraining himself incase he began to vomit again. His eyes awakened with agony and curiosity as he whimpered slightly for help from the Boss, then strangely began chuckling, almost manically. The Boss remembered that this was all the doing of Zinyak, and knew that the real Donnie would never act like the simulated puppet before him.

'Gotta give him points; he came back from the dead to make all this happen! So, how's this going to go down? Can I be tied to the back of the van this time, or is that just your thing now?' Donnie snorted, he bounced upwards with the chair still tied to him to reveal himself from the inside of the closet, and carelessly spat blood onto Carlos's sneakers. The Boss sat unfazed, firmly a disbeliever of the lies in front of him. Carlos retorted by smacking Donnie in the face with the butt of the pistol, then as the young mechanic fell to the ground, Carlos pinned the pistol firmly atop his skull.

'You just sit there and be quiet, or I'll put a full round into your lap first.' Carlos barked, he took the pistol off safety, then spat into Donnie's eyes with contempt, whilst the Boss moved to turn his chair, and face the two directly, now that they had gained his attention.

'This is getting boring now Zinyak! I'm not buying any of this!' The Boss resounded, Carlos and Donnie looked at him confusingly as he shouted towards the ceiling, then as the room felt silent with nothing but the creaks of the floorboards and crawling of the spiders, the Boss admitted defeat to his boredom.

'If it had been you he ratted out and helped hunt down…I'd…I'd have done nothing other than search across this entire world for this pathetic cowardly backstabbing bitch! And send him off to hell!' Carlos cried, he aimed the pistol at the Boss, hoping for more of a fearful reaction from the Boss who still sat, not even bothering to blink or to even attempt to interrupt Carlos to explain himself.

'This isn't about Donnie…It wasn't about anyone. All you would have wanted was for Jessica to die, Maero to die and for the whole Brotherhood to fall. Even if he had helped hunt you down, it wouldn't have mattered; he's a coward who'll do whatever he can to get by. He was never loyal to one side, and he never will be. Killing him wouldn't have helped take down the Brotherhood. It was never a choice.' The Boss revealed, as he began to finally justify his actions and as Zinyak grew more distracted with his imploring, the Boss managed to unravel himself from the bounds of the chair, and stood up to face Carlos.

'Well…Now you do have a choice.' Carlos concluded, he untied Donnie from his chair and wrapped his arms around the mechanic's neck, then tossed the Quickshot pistol to the Boss, who allowed it to fall into the open palms of his hands. 'Zinyak's created me with a signal blocker inside my files, meaning your friends won't find you…This is just down to us. If you want to escape out of here, you're going to have to kill me! But…If you want to make things right…You have to kill him.'

'You're right about one thing Carlos…I do have a choice.' The Boss announced, he felt every inch of the pistol across the curves of the cold metal, then chose to turn around abruptly and shot a bullet through the window in front of him, smashing the glass and offering him a potential escape route. He then fired another round through the window and into the sky to signal his friends where he was. 'You never expected me to think outside the box, huh Zinyak?'

'Well I suppose I will remember you most of all for your unpredictability as well as your arrogance. Like Mr Collins from _Pride and Prejudice_, you foolishly chance every opportunity before you without thinking them through…However I am the master of this world, and I will not tolerate your arrogance no longer.' Zinyak snidely warned, Carlos and Donnie both looked to the ceiling in fright at the omniscient marauder voice, and the Boss looked towards the darkened corners of the apartment as he saw Murderbots, Zin and CIDs generate out of thin air and swarm the Boss.

'Well shit…Guess there really is only one option now…' The Boss moaned, he held the Quickshot pistol firmly in front of him and contemplated shooting either Donnie or Carlos, however confidently winked at the two with a sarcastic smirk whilst walking backwards, and then performed a backflip out of the window.

'NO! You can't run away anymore!' Carlos cried with haste, he threw Donnie away onto the floor and hurried to the window, and wavered his arms out in an attempt to grab the Boss, both to rescue him from his death as well as to subject him for further torment. Amazingly however, someone else robbed him of the chance.

'Asha! You sneaky MI6 agent you!' The Boss juvenilely cheered, Asha had glided from across Downtown Steelport and grabbed him in mid-air with a brazened expression on her face, and began to set him down by the bridge in the Park of Loren Square in the Downtown district, whilst Johnny followed them in a Saints Vulture helicopter.

'I've never been one to blindly follow you in your strange insticts; besides, this is child's play for me.' Asha proudly affirmed, she allowed the Boss to drop onto the ground of the bridge as he dusted himself off whilst the neon-blue glow around her faded, and Johnny still hovered in his Vulture above the park, however he wasn't the only one following the Boss, as Carlos leapt from building to building and telekinetically threw Johnny's helicopter into the grassy terrain below.

'Shit…It's been half a decade since I put a bullet in his face, but it feels just like yesterday…I have to do it again; it has to be me, I don't want anyone else to go through this shit. He's…He's just a kid.' The Boss moaned, almost tearfully as he flexed his arms and readied his buff ability, whilst Asha looked on towards the darkened figure of Carlos walking further down the bridge, the fiery inferno of the helicopter behind him, with Johnny limbering out to give chase.

'You don't have to deal with the burden anymore; let us in Boss…Let me in.' Asha pleaded, she grew closer to the Boss as he drew his head downwards and gave her a sideway glance of consideration, whilst Johnny straightened himself up and aimed his Shokolov AR rifle at the tip of Carlos's head, the latter still unfazed at any of his former allies and mumbling nonsense to himself.

'NO!' The Boss snapped, if he was to be a true leader, he could not allow those he led to feel his pain, and switched to his freezing abilities and fired a blast towards Carlos, immobilising him where he stood. Asha looked back and forth between the three men before her, wondering who would make the kill first. Johnny was holstering the rifle violently though showed no hesitation in his face, the Boss brought out his cold merciless pistol and aimed it closely at Carlos's forehead, and the two Saints readied themselves for another sickening memory…

BAAM!

Carlos's body fell majestically yet unwantedly to the littered pavement below him, the Boss rushing to hold him as the ice broke free, and Johnny stood in the foreground, lowering his rifle, amazed at what had just happened. Asha drew her 45 Shepherd close and blew the smoke away from the tip of her trusty weapon, then hid it away without fear nor pleasure, showing no pain in her decision. Johnny jogged slightly as he went to help comfort his friend, trying to get his head around what had happened; he hesitated. He had the chance to kill another person yet again, but hesitated. Was this fear, or a breakthrough in his psychosis?

'Even if this isn't the real you, there is something I have to say to you…Something I've never said to you before and never said to anyone…_Thank you_, for being like a younger brother to me.' The Boss mournfully wept, he held Carlos's head with his right hand and wrapped his other hand in Carlos's left fist, cementing their brotherly bond one final time. Asha stood behind him, silent and unwilling to disrupt his closure.

'I-I never had an older brother….I lied. I lied because I wanted to feel like I was already in the Saints, like I was already family. You were always a brother to me, Boss.' Carlos whimpered, his eyes were opening and shutting abruptly whilst showing what the Boss saw as tears. Before the Boss could keep his old friend with him any longer, Carlos began to disintegrate into thin air, and his pixels faded away; one of the Boss's friends died again, and another who was once believed to have died returned to him.

'It's…It's done.' Johnny sighed, he holstered his rifle onto his shoulders whilst the Boss rose up from the ground, and Asha gave the two a reassuring smile. 'One thing's for sure, Zinyak's gonna pay for this shit.'

'I'm going to tear his goddamn head off and put it on the walls of the fucking ship…Let's find one of the gateways, I want to get out of here.' The Boss concluded, Johnny and Asha nodded in agreement at his words as he jumped with ferocity into the air and began searching Steelport for a gateway out of the simulation. As Asha prepared to do the same, Johnny grabbed her by her arm, wanting to beg a pertinent question.

'Hey, before you go, I gotta know…Why did you fire first? I could have killed him.' Johnny affirmed, he felt emotionally weak but could not let anyone like Asha know that, and needed assurance that she knew who exactly was the team badass.

'Sometimes taking down a target isn't a case of settling a personal vendetta or telling yourself in a delusional state that you'll be saving countless lives doing so…You just do it to protect those you care about. You waste your bullet to safeguard your friend's bullet. That's my priority.' Asha revealed, finally, she was letting her guard down, and even though she felt Matt may have been listening in on them or that it was a pointless revelation to the apparent killing machine, it was necessary. She needed to become a part of the Saints, properly. Asha nodded her head positively and leapt to search for a gateway. Johnny gazed at the skyline, wondering if he had found a new lease in life.

**…**

**One hour later**

Johnny wandered through to the Bridge of the ship, his hardened fists following him almost reluctantly, and his eyebrows remaining still and clenched at the events that he was forced to endure. When he finally rose his head to face what was in front of him, he was amazed to find Keith before him, offering him a handshake as well as a stern yet apologetic look on his face. Johnny smiled almost gleefully and shook it, and before he began speaking to apologise for his behaviour to Keith before he ventured into the simulation, Keith shushed him and pointed to the case of beer on the desktops in front of the main window of the bridge, and the two shared a quick glance; they both knew what they had done wrong and wanted to make amends, and Keith no longer saw Johnny as the emotionless deranged killer like before.

Johnny joined Keith on the desk-chairs as they screwed off the tops of the bottles, offered each other a toast and clashed their bottles, then eagerly took a swig as they looked out at the still fiery inferno of their former home. They were both very depressed and considering suicide for the lack of humanity now, but what kept them alive was the thirst for vengeance.

Asha strode into the room and observed the two; satisfied in knowing Keith listened to her previously when she scolded him for his arrogance at Johnny and revealing the true reason why he couldn't kill Carlos, and for Johnny being able to return to his role of a teamplayer for the Saints, she quickly left the Bridge.

She hovered over the stairway and watched Matt return to the hangar of the ship with a PSP in his hands, and contemplated following him to get to know him better, but allowed her own hesitation to get the better of her, and returned to the gym. She returned to doing what she had always done; train. Train, for the inevitable clash with Zinyak.

* * *

**Phew, that took forever to write! Well don't worry, the next chapters won't focus so much on description and long paragraphs of detail; from now on, all of these stories will be in the free direct speech and will just be flows after flows of dialogue from our favourite Saints. Chapter Two will be up soon, please leave a review below to let me know how I did or can improve, and also whether you've enjoyed this or not!**


	2. Episode Two: Two Banana Milkshakes

Pierce, Matt and Shaundi sat across the sturdy table within the kitchen section of the ship, playing poker to watch the time drift by, and were too caught up in the tension to hear Benjamin wander into the room. Pierce and Matt sat on the edges of their seats, their hands shaking relentlessly as they looked to their small pile of oranges and bananas that they used as poker money.

Shaundi sat smugly waffling her five final cards with a seductive smirk on her face and her feet atop the table, rocking back slowly on her chair. As Matt rearranged his cards, he began to feel a glimmer of hope and began to giggle in a low tone, then looked over to Shaundi who raised her right eyebrow at him and then shook her head, signalling that it was inevitable for him to lose. Benjamin inspected each of their cards, smiled to himself, and went to wash his hands in the sink.

'Come on boys, don't keep me waiting all day now.' Shaundi joked, Matt tried to laugh along with her whilst Pierce's eyes remained fixated on his cards; he had three queens, a seven and a four, meaning he had a formidable _Three of a kind_ which could win him the game.

'I….I fold.' Matt surrendered, he placed his cards onto the table face down, and cowered to look at Pierce, who was hoping for his help in breaking Shaundi's winning streak. The Saints diva began to hum a song in her head as Pierce wiped the sweat from his forehead and finally made a decision. As Matt hung his head down in shame, he pretended he had an itch around his left eye and starting scratching and hiding his eyes, then _attempted to gain a quick glance as Shaundi's breasts_. It didn't take long for her to notice what he was doing and stomp on his foot to encourage him never to do it again.

'All in…' Pierce snared, he pushed his gigantic pile of oranges and bananas towards the centre of the table with a stern face as Shaundi tilted her head in a curious gesture, and was forced to do the same now. 'Alright, three queens, a seven and a Goddamn four – Three of a kind, girl.'

'Not bad Pierce, not bad at all…' Shaundi observed, Pierce flexed his arms behind his head as he felt victorious finally, and Ben perched himself against the sink whilst watching the three, and Matt offered Pierce dap for his accomplishments. '10….9…8…7…6. Straight flush boys – I think that's another game in the bag.' Shaundi slowly placed each of her cards onto the table as Pierce watched in awe and horror, and fell backwards from his chair onto the floor as Ben chuckled in the background.

'Not bad girl, not bad at all.' Ben imitated Shaundi as he made his presence known to the group and strode over to the main table. 'If you're all done, do you mind if I use these fruits to make a meal for us all?'

'You want to make a meal? I doubt there'll be sufficient spotless culinary for you to use to create something delicious, if it's all the same with you.' Matt questioned, Shaundi and Pierce both alarmingly looked at Matt in shock, not for standing up to Benjamin, but for questioning his abilities. If there was one thing the Boss taught them about the founder of the Vice Kings, it was never to call him out on something.

'I've been always been fond of the old saying 'A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life'; sure things seem messy now, but that doesn't mean the food here will taste lousy.' Benjamin declared, he picked up one of the bananas the group was using and sniffed at each groove within the ripples; he quickly decided it was no longer fresh and began looking through the cupboards across the kitchen for other ingredients.

'Who on Earth was ever fond of that dubious statement?' Matt queried once again, now his attitude was starting to grow on Shaundi's nerves as she punched him in his left elbow which caused him to shriek slightly in pain. Pierce grew interested by Benjamin's actions as he was finally learning more about the legendary empire architect, and was slightly anxious when he found Benjamin sitting still by one of the lower cupboards.

'My sister…Angela.' Benjamin muttered, as he rested his right arm on the doorframe to keep it open, he hung his head down towards the ground and remembered his past for a brief moment; silence invaded the room and what felt like a decade was in reality ten seconds. Shaundi looked to Pierce, wanting to check on him to ensure he was alright, however Pierce shook his head in objection, knowing that Benjamin would prefer no one to make a big deal out of his heartbreak. 'Aha – They have a freezer here!'

'Wait…They had a freezer here this whole time? I-I could have gotten something to drink earlier then!' Matt bellowed, he was trying to regain the momentum of laughter in the group, and Pierce and Shaundi attempted to laugh slightly with him in return, as did Ben later, whom easily realised what Matt was doing for him.

'Alright, we have a big chunky frozen ripe banana, a half full carton of milk that smells good, and what looks like vanilla yoghurt in here. There's a bag of sugar, a knife and some spoons in that cupboard too. It won't taste perfect, but I can easily whip us all up something decent.' Benjamin concluded, he carefully analysed each of the ingredients and began searching for a blender to use to mix the food.

'I'm sure it'll taste great Ben.' Shaundi avowed, Benjamin turned to her and gave her a thanking smile as she did in return, and Pierce began stacking all of the poker cards back to take a formal break for the meal. Matt attempted to draw out the PSP in his jumpsuit's pockets to play with, but Pierce scolded him and took it away from him, as it was terrible table manners.

'So Ben, how much cooking have you learnt over the years?' Pierce wondered aloud, Benjamin began pouring the yoghurt into the blender whilst Shaundi helped him by chopping the banana into slices, and Matt began tapping onto the table, both anxiously and in a bored state.

'I've learnt a lot over the years when it comes to cooking. I started when I used to work on my family's café back in Sunnyvale Gardens in Stilwater, started off as the kid who just cleaned the floors and took orders, but then I got my chance to shine in the kitchen. Back in those days, you didn't have insecure girls who checked on their IPads the calories of the meals or arrogant attention seekers called 'Hipsters' threatening to start a full investigation into the cleanliness of your café. These were the days that what you saw, was what you got, and you were just grateful for it…Then the Carnales came.' Ben announced in a short speech, he had finished pouring in the yoghurt, scrubbed the glass of the blender thoroughly, dropped all of the banana slices into the blender and pushed the plug into the socket, and watched the blender twirl. Pierce and Matt were held on by every word Ben gave them, but only Pierce remembered Los Carnales.

'The Carnales, they did a big number on Stilwater back in those days, didn't they?' Pierce agreed in a questioning state, he was trying to keep the flow of the conversation going, however by what Shaundi and Matt heard, Ben truly did not enjoy confronting his past, no matter what he usually said about doing so.

'They turned Stilwater into their big ass port for drug trafficking…They made everyone pay their protection rackets so they could bribe the police and deal drugs right in the open. I wanted to go to high school to become an author or some shit, but my folks steered me away from that cause the Carnales were just turning all of the teenage girls there into drug mules and the guys into junkies. My folks were good people; they took a damn stand against the Carnales. Five of them waltzed into my café and demanded money, and my dad came out behind the till with a baseball bat, threatening to swing it so hard, he'd cause a fucking eclipse…

They wasted a whole damn clip of that AK on him, right in front of my fucking eyes.'

The silence fell onto the room again; it came out of the darkened shadows within the cracks of the walls and invaded the kitchen. Shaundi moved backwards slightly in depression as Benjamin slammed his fingers onto the blender's buttons to turn it off, and Pierce and Matt both glanced at each other with worried looks of futility. Pierce pulled his fedora forwards as his mind raced to find the perfect charismatic solution to the problem, but that was just it; how do you look at the bright side of something so dark? Benjamin poured the contents of the blender into two small glasses and banged them onto the table in front of the two listeners. He then proceeded to storm off in disgust at his past, knowing that no matter how unbelievable the crusade against Zinyak he fought in was, it still couldn't stop him from having to believe his past.

Pierce then began shifting his eyes back and forth as he formed an idea in his mind, and signalled Matt's attention with a nod to head upstairs to the main room with the simulation pods were, and as they hurried off in a crazed plan, Shaundi stood bewildered at the two, watching the two banana milkshakes stand together.

…

**40 minutes later**

Benjamin walked through the Salander neighbourhood of the Stanfield district alone, the simulated wind brushing his bushy beard as his eyes scanned the area, looking for his fellow Saints. As he approached the Smiling Jack diner, he stopped dead in his tracks, and marvelled at what Matt had done; Pierce and Matt had somehow digitally redesigned the structure of the building to match the exact same café Benjamin once worked in. Benjamin couldn't help but blink repeatedly and rub his eyes, both due to disbelief and to stop himself from crying in shock. He saw Pierce and Shaundi standing outside the diner, waiting patiently for him with greeting grins on their faces, and Benjamin waved at the two as he approached.

'H-How…How did you know what exactly this place looked like?' Benjamin wondered, now he was the one asking Pierce the questions and wasn't exactly sure what to make of the situation as he awkwardly chuckled whilst Shaundi smiled at him and Pierce offered to shake his hand, then was taken aback as Ben hugged him kindly.

'We first asked the Boss if he remembered any long-standing cafes within the Sunnyvale Gardens, and he gave us a list. Then, we hacked into the Zin database; they had stolen a lot of consensuses from Stilwater, and one of the names of the restaurants stood out; 'For King and Custard'…Who came up with that name anyway?' Matt wondered, he was speaking down to the group as an omniscient voice from the sky as he tapped in to the simulation, and the three Saints looked up to answer him. Benjamin smiled at Matt's cunning.

'My dad used to fight in the First World War, and suffered from a chloride gas attack in 1917; it took him a long time to recover from the pain, but what kept him going was being able to look on the _brighter side of life_, and always enjoyed eating custard as it reminded him of the chloride…I had a crazy family, I know.' Ben revealed, he crossed his arms and perched himself on top of a fire hydrant as Pierce and Shaundi stood firmly still, always captivated by his every word. There was so much heartache in Ben's stories of his family and childhood, yet he never frowned nor cried about it; he was stronger than he appeared greatly.

'Speaking of custard, I fancy something warm anyway, let's head on in and buy something!' Pierce decided, he opened the door to the refurbished café and allowed Ben to enter first, and followed Shaundi straight in. Ben stood and scanned the whole building; it was exactly as he remembered. He could hear the same rickety chair in the corner of the room that his father had almost broken when he was fighting with one of the drunks; he could smell the combination of caffeine and sugar and saw that the wallpaper and carpets were the exact same lemon colour. Pierce picked a table for the group to sit by, and everyone made themselves comfortable.

'You guys remember this is just a simulation, right? This isn't real food.' Benjamin reminded, he wanted to let himself be caught up in the optimistic simulated dream he was in, but even after all the work Pierce and Matt went to, he was still hesitant to believe it was truly real.

'Actually, the way the codings of the simulation are scripted allow the left side of your brain to experience all of the ordinary senses you would feel in reality. You can feel pain from being virtually shot, but you can also feel pleasant senses such as simulated smells and in this case, simulated food. It doesn't quench your hunger in reality in that your stomach acids-'

'I think we got the jest of that, thanks Matt.' Shaundi interrupted with a sassy tone, Benjamin sniggered at her timely interruption, and quickly looked up to see the waiter take his meal; it was exactly as he remembered her.

'Angela…' Benjamin gasped, she looked so real; he could smell the hairspray from her curly black locks of hair that dangled over her shoulders, he could see her chest inhaling and exhaling the air, and her appearance was spot on. Benjamin didn't know whether to be impressed with Matt's abilities as a hacker, or his ability to easily invade the pasts of his allies, like Kinzie. As Pierce saw Benjamin sat in awe, Pierce took their orders.

'I think we'd like three ham sandwiches, a bacon and egg breakfast meal, one cappuccino coffee for Shaundi, and two banana milkshakes for us.' Pierce decided, despite many members of the Saints like Asha questioning his intelligence and ability to fire a gun, he paid a lot of attention to what his friends liked and disliked, and remembered them, even without his friends giving recognition to it. Benjamin watched as Angela wrote the order down on a small reporter's styled notepad, then hurried off behind the counter to give the order to the main cook; Benjamin himself.

'Is that…Is that me?' Benjamin wondered, he looked at how different he was to his younger self, even though he only saw him for a split second; he had a very 80s style moustache growing over his mouth past his chin in the style of a long goatee, a bright floral shirt and headphones in his ears. Pierce and Shaundi tried to catch a sight of him, however the older Ben deliberately moved in front of them slightly so as not to embarrass himself. Little did he realise that Matt had scripted the model of his younger self; it wouldn't take long for him to reveal all.

'So Ben, is this exactly as you remember it?' Shaundi asked him, the three waited for their orders as Pierce grabbed a leftover newspaper off the floor of the window he sat next to, and as Benjamin was about to answer, something odd occurred. Benjamin glanced out of the window, and saw two gigantic white and red Criminal trucks pull up outside of the café, with dozens of Hispanic thugs wielding rifles and uzis jumping out. This was exactly how he remembered it, and he certainly did not want to remember it that way.

'Matt!? Matt, what's going on, who are they?' Benjamin roared, everyone in the café looked to him in horror whilst Pierce and Shaundi looked out of the window, realising what Benjamin was terrified of.

'Oh you know exactly what is 'going on' and who they are my dear novelist friend. They, are the same people who killed your father. You're very fond of telling people to let go of the past; will you be able to let go and let bygones be bygones, and watch them burn this café down again?' Zinyak sadistically echoed, his omniscient voice ever so present across the whole simulation. As Pierce swore under his breath, Benjamin saw another sight outside the window; Hector Lopez stepped out of one of the Criminal trucks, dressed in his long red trench coat accompanied by his young hot-headed brother Angelo. Zinyak was going to pay, and there will be a line for people to kill him.

'Shit! I thought I had masked the signal of the changes made to this part of the simulation! I-I even digitally remastered the programmings within some of his Zin across the rest of Steelport to distract him! H-How could he be doing this?' Matt worried in a frantic tone from the skyline, Benjamin jumped into action and grabbed the table he was sitting against and pushed it against the main entrance to the café. Pierce and Shaundi drew out an SMG and Shokolov rifle respectively, and prepared for the fight.

'How could I be doing this? Ohohoho please Mr Miller, at least pay me the respect I deserve; I am the grand architect of your misery. Here, I am the tyrannical God watching your every move. If something happens in the simulation, I'll know about it. There is nowhere that you…Can hide from me.' Zinyak whispered in a terrifying tone, he truly loved mentally torturing his victims.

'Doesn't matter, I'm not hiding anywhere punk! I already lost my family once, I ain't losing them again!' Benjamin protested, he drew out his impressive AR200 SAW and knelt behind the main till of the café, settling his machine gun pointed towards the windows where the Canarles fired from. Pierce and Shaundi quickly followed him.

'If you will not submit…You will burn.' Hector snarled, he and Angelo began lighting molotov cocktails and threw them through the windows of the café, quickly setting the whole building ablaze. The simulated citizens began to run crazily like chickens whilst Benjamin cowered at the horror of his childhood dying; the curtains were brazen in flames, milkshakes and coffees spilled all over the luxurious carpet, and his sister Angela threw herself into the kitchen with her brother.

'It's getting a little hairy in here – Matt, Ben, any ideas?' Pierce pleaded, he was doing his best with his SMG but as each Canarles thug fell, Zinyak quickly digitally recreated more, and the Saints were struggling to continue breathing as their lungs felt inflamed by the smog. They had to act quick.

'Keep firing your damn gun and keep it together!' Benjamin demanded, no matter how threatened Pierce or Shaundi felt, he certainly was not going to give up his family again. Angela and the younger Benjamin could be heard shrieking and sobbing, whilst the Lopez brothers drew nearer and nearer to the café, eventually entering the building and came face to face with the founder of the Vice Kings.

'This town belongs to me, _eslavo (slave)_, and one way or another, you will submit.' Hector grudgingly promised, he looked to Angelo to signal a forming plan in their sickening minds, and quicky fired a bullet from his 45 shepherd at Pierce's right shoulder, immobilising him from continue to fire properly. Shaundi quickly rushed to help him whilst Benjamin fired a whole clip towards the rest of Canarles thugs following Hector into the café, then as he tried to reload, Hector caught up to him and threw it out of the way, then engaged in a close fist fight.

'I answer to no one! You hear me amigo!? I answer to no one!' Benjamin aggressively beamed, he became as agile as a ninja; he quickly dislocated Hector's left wrist and dodged his uppercut, then swept his legs apart with his own and forced him onto the ground. Then, he jumped on top of him and began pounding his bloody fists into his eyes, Hector's left glass eye starting to crack with the pressure. As Pierce and Shaundi tried to escape from the burning café after inhaling so much smog, Benjamin's attention was quickly stolen.

'Get away from my hermano!' Angelo demanded with a frightening tone, as Benjamin turned and saw he had grabbed his sister, holding a sharp knife close to her throat. Benjamin's pupils widened with worry at what he saw, and as Angelo caught his attention, Hector struck him from behind with a blow to the head and quickly rose back on his feet. 'Either she dies, or you die! Make a decision now or everyone will burn!'

'Ben! We've got to move! Zinyak's just going to keep recreating the Canarles over and over until we're dead! We've got to escape!' Shaundi requested, she was trying to give Pierce cover as he sat against the back of one of the Canarles' trucks, and tried to fire with his left hand but to no avail. Benjamin began to feel flustered as he wasn't sure what to do; should he save his biological family, or his surrogate family?

'You're forgetting one thing Zinyak…No one knows this place better than me.' Benjamin revealed, he brought out a hand grenade and bounced it off one of the walls of the café, then watched it twirl into the cooking room as he dived out of the burning café and back into the streets of Salander. As Pierce and Shaundi tried to help him off the ground, he rushed up and pushed them backwards, seconds before the explosion shot off and brought the whole building to ruins.

'Zinyak…Go fuck yourself.' Benjamin mumbled, Pierce smiled at what he called his '_badassery_' and dusted himself off, and patted his friend on the back as they watched his childhood home burn in ruins. As Zinyak was amazed and taken aback by what had happened, his control over the simulation weakened and the simulations of the Canarles goons gradually faded away. The three Saints were about to walk away, until they heard the sounds of doors and floorboards being thrown away, meaning someone had survived.

'A-Angela?' Benjamin worried, he saw his sister emerge from the ruins of the café in a horrific gothic state; her entire body was covered in burns and all of her bloodstreams and muscle tissues were torn and visible, and her clothes were torn apart and blackened. Her hair looked as crispy and sullied as firewood, and she slowly limped towards Ben, desperate for care.

'It didn't have to be this way…We could have just lived under the Canarles, waited until the Saints were born…I could still be alive.' Angela sobbed, Pierce and Shaundi both stood in the background, speechless for thought as they knew deep down that this was all the manipulation of Zinyak. Shaundi attempted to rush in front of Benjamin to remind him, however Pierce blocked her with his right arm, knowing that this was a reality Benjamin had to face up on his own, and needed to regain the strength in himself again.

'It was always going to be like this; we're _Kings_ Angela. You were always one tough cookie that didn't like anyone telling her what to do, and I was a hot-headed bookworm. One way or another, we would have both gotten into the game, but the problem is, you got in too deep and got yourself killed. There was, and is, nothing I could do.' Benjamin sobbingly concluded, he walked backwards, away from Angela as she tried to wrap her long blazed arms around Benjamin's neck, and shook his head at everything he saw, disgusted with the torture Zinyak inflicted. The all-watching alien overlord knew he had lost this battle, and allowed Angela to disintegrate into nothingness. Benjamin hung his head down onto the ground as Shaundi offered him an apology.

'I'm sorry Ben, we should have known Zinyak would try something…' Shaundi cried, Benjamin looked up and turned to face her, and simply nodded at her words, then gave a small smirk of satisfaction. As Matt's hold over the simulation began to resurface, the wound in Pierce's shoulder began to fade and he regained full health and control over his body, flexing his arms back and forth.

'Don't be, this has just giving me the boost I needed to want to kill Zinyak. Besides, it's also given me a good idea for a book.' Ben chuckled, Pierce and Shaundi were both stunned at his peculiar optimism, and as Pierce raised his eyebrow in surprise, Benjamin answered his concern. 'I'm taking a page out of your book son; I'm trying to not let this crazy shit get to me and move on, I'm okay guys, now let's get out of here, the smog smells horrible around here.'

…

**30 minutes later**

Benjamin made himself comfortable sitting by the table of the kitchen alone in the solitary darkness, and as he reached for one of the two banana milkshakes, he imagined his sister sitting before him; the effects of the simulation had _a far stronger_ impact on his mind compared to his friends as he quickly photographically imagined the kitchen of the ship to resemble parts of his old café, and as he clashed his milkshake with that of his sister's in a cheering attitude, Ben's maddened grin only grew. Angela kissed him on the forehead as she left him, and returned to the kitchen to continue serving the customers as Ben heard his parents loudly cooking more meals, likely making a mess by the sound of things. His sparkled for a brief moment; was it a hidden tear, and did he know what was happening to him?

''A clean kitchen truly is the sign of a wasted life...'' Ben blissfully reminded himself as he eagerly guzzled down the banana milkshake, and Pierce and Matt cautiously watched over him as they hovered near the entrance to the hangar, sneakily observing Benjamin from the corner of the corridor.

'I knew something was up. Shit, looks like we'll have to keep an eye on King, Matt…' Pierce decided, the two struggled to make sense of the situation and were left speechless at everything they were watching as Ben pretended to listen to the music of the jukebox within the café. Pierce and Matt then decided to retreat to the hangar to head up to the bridge to find the Boss, and to alert to him what Zinyak has indirectly done to King. Zinyak was going to pay. Badly.

* * *

**Last minute decision to change that ending; originally it was going to be similar to episode one in that all we read was Ben watching his sister disintegrate into nothingness within the simulation, but I thought that was too similar to Carlos's story in the previous episode. Besides, this leaves a much bigger cliffhanger. **

**Be sure to hit that review button underneath, and if you've got any questions, ideas or any general comments about the series so far, be sure to leave a review or message to me! Episode Three should be up soon ^_^**


	3. Episode Three: Final Exam

**Might be the longest episode so far, but it's without a doubt the best! NyteBlade, Pierce singing Aisha, Matt getting angry at Windows 7 and a drunken Keith David, all in one hilarious chapter!**

* * *

The Boss, Matt, Pierce, Fun Shaundi and Keith were all lounging around in Kinzie's Inner Sanctum, watching the TV show Nyteblade of all things. Both the Boss and Matt sat eagerly besides each other on the edges of the torn-leather couch as their eyeballs were inches away from the screen of the small 26 inch TV screen; the Boss held in his hands a gigantic box of popcorn covered in toffee which was also covered around the Boss's lips as if he was a six year old.

He and Matt battled over the box of popcorn, however they refrained from exchanging eye-contact as their attention was pealed to the TV. Fun Shaundi sat on the corner of the couch next to Matt, pretending to groom his hair whilst holding a bong in her hands, being playful as ever, whilst Pierce watched from the other side of the couch in an armchair and was almost asleep. Keith meanwhile was pacing around the room, incredibly drunk and out of his head.

'So, let me get this straight with the season finale,' Pierce begun, he was half asleep as he propped up his face with his left arm pushed up by the arms on the chair, and as soon as he spoke, the Boss and Matt let out a simultaneous sigh whilst Fun Shaundi shook her head in mockery at Pierce's foolishness.

'So the guy who killed NyteBlade's wife is Mr X, who also happens to be his best friend. And after ranting for dozens of episodes about how he can never love again, Nyte Blade got his freak on with both Marion and the Bloody Cannoness, and now all of a sudden gives a damn about them both? Then after Marion died, NyteBlade didn't give a fuck about her, but when she came back from the dead, she was taking over by the voodoo Darkness thing?'

'Mind-blowing, isn't it?' Matt asked him, he tried to talk whilst gurgling the handfuls of popcorn down his throat as the Boss wiped the toffee from around his mouth. Keith was now mumbling to himself and falling onto the floor, shouting that he was okay, although no one paid him any attention.

'It's…Unnecessarily complex. If you ignore all the vampire parts, it's just a show about dozens of women throwing themselves at Josh Birk; _that's why I can't take it seriously._' Pierce studied, the Boss and Matt alarmingly gasped at his words and stuck their middle fingers at him as they struggled to talk over the popcorn, and Fun Shaundi simply giggled whilst standing up on her feet.

'Hey, if we were locked in a room, I'd do more than throw myself to Josh Birk…That guy is a _hunk_.' Fun Shaundi replied, she knelt down directly in front of the TV screen and pretended to kiss the screen once Josh Birk's character came back on, and the Boss and Matt both groaned with their mouths full of food as Fun Shaundi blocked their view. Pierce was surprised they weren't enjoying the view of Fun Shaundi kneeling down. Just as Fun Shaundi was about to return to her seat, a few familiar voices could be heard coming towards the room.

'Matt, you haven't enticed these poor souls into watching Nyteblade, have you?' Asha queried, she entered the room along with Shaundi, Johnny, Kinzie and Benjamin, and they all made themselves comfortable. Asha and Johnny pulled up a couple of decker chairs to sit next to the rest of group, and sat teasing Matt by scrubbing the toffee off around his mouth, then licking it off her fingers. It didn't take long for him to sweat excitedly.

'I'll have you know everyone else in this room happily begged to watch this show; in fact, I doubt they could have gone on living without watching the season finale' Matt exaggerated, he always had a tendency to oversell things. Shaundi and Fun Shaundi fought over control of sitting on the couch whilst Ben pulled up a decker chair next to Pierce and chuckled at his need to fall asleep, whilst Johnny began kicking Keith softly on the ground to wake him up. Keith wasn't _usually_ a heavy drinker.

'Is this season 2's finale, or season 3's finale Matt? Has the Bloody Cannoness died yet?' Kinzie asked him, trying to feign interest, however as she did so, the Boss roared, aggravated with his mouth full of popcorn and annoyed at the spoilers, and chucked his whole bag of popcorn at the screen and at Kinzie, and tried to talk with his mouth full. Fun Shaundi, Pierce and a drunken Keith began laughing at him, whilst Matt tried to calm him down and returned him to his seat.

'Season 3 of course, we're almost finished a whole marathon of all three seasons so I can better refresh my mind in preparation for writing up season 4. What with, you know, the Boss making me the new OWNER OF NYTE BLADE!' Matt begun to inform, then gushed with excitement like a fanboy as Asha watched in confusion at his over-excitement. Johnny started twirling his pistol as he heard noises from outside the warehouse, and left the Inner Sanctum to investigate.

'Even if you're the owner of the franchise Matt, who are you gonna use to replace the cast?' Pierce wondered, as soon as he did it, Ben slapped him on the back of the head as Asha and Shaundi moaned, knowing it was incredibly likely that Matt would encourage his friends to act out his Fanfiction scenes. As Shaundi walked out of the room to search for Johnny, Matt took out the DVD of the player, and neatly placed it back into his boxset.

'Oh I'm glad you asked that question Pierce, because that is an important matter I need to discuss with the re-' Matt begun, he stood up as he prepared for an announcement, however he was quickly cut off by the sounds of alien rifles shooting downstairs in the warehouse, and the Saints immediately jumped into action.

'Shit! Whose turn was it to watch over the computers to check for Zin activity? Kinzie, whose turn was it?' The Boss demanded to know, the group rushed out of the Sanctum to the balcony, and were amazed at the armada of Zin, Murderbots and CIDS entering the warehouse. Kinzie grew flustered at his demands as she tried to defend herself with a semi-automatic shotgun, though Johnny tried to protect her by unloading his Shokolov AR onto the Zin that tried to swarm her.

'I-I don't know! It could have been mine, yours, Matt's, anyone! I really don't know!' Kinzie cried, the Saints were having a hard time defending each other as the Zin repeatedly threw suppression grenades across the whole warehouse to stop the Saints from using their powers. Two of the murderbots ended up cornering Fun Shaundi and Ben across the Balcony and tried to knock them down, whilst Pierce and Asha struggled to hold their own against one of the Zin tanks that had somehow made it's way into the warehouse.

'Who cares, it's fresh meat! Murder time is the best time all 'round!' Johnny screamed in a crazed bloodlust, the Boss chuckled at him unintentionally misusing Professor Genki's catchphrase, however despite their optimism, they were in fact losing the fight as two more tanks entered the warehouse and began firing repeatedly at the ceiling of the warehouse, and each of the Saints fell to the ground and struggled to remain strong. As the Boss tried to regain consciousness, he saw a familiar figure standing before him.

'Zinyak…You motherfucker, I'm gonna decapi-' The Boss began threatening, until Zinyak cut him short by stomping onto his throat, whilst the Boss struggled to control his fading vision, and could only two Zin soldiers grabbing Shaundi by her hair and smashing her face brutally against the ground.

'Oh, spare me the vulgarity for at least one occasion please. You've all been very naughty children recently, and it is time that you were all disciplined for your juvenile rebellions.' Zinyak demanded in an eerie yet menacing tone, Matt and Kinzie had tried to jump him from behind as they tried to pin him down, however he simply shook them off his arms and hurled them over the balconies and down onto the floors below, hearing a painful slam. As the Boss struggled to hold his own, a fellow Saint could be heard wandering out ignorantly from the Inner Sanctum finally.

'Y-You anal-probin' overlords…You sh-shaved albeeeno apes…You _pink-ass frreaaks_. I'm gonna, ki-' Keith began rambling, he tried to aim his SMG at Zinyak whilst in a drunken state, however as Zinyak obnoxiously chuckled and faced him whilst not letting go of his grip on the Boss's neck, Keith ended up stumbling and falling to the ground, knocking himself out into unconsciousness.

'Well, I see that was far easier than I had anticipated, now it is time for your…Re-education…' Zinyak prowled, he raised his fist into the air to signal the victory for the Zin who all rejoiced in making their tyrannical dictator proud, and the Boss finally submitted as he had given away his last breath of oxygen.

**…**

The Boss awakened in a slight trance, his waistline tied against the back of a school-chair by what appeared and felt like steel, and as the Boss opened his blood-shot eyes properly to assess where he was, he was beyond terrified. He saw a colossal black-board with words written in what appeared to be blood, candles dotted across the room with no electrical lighting or windows at all, and the all striking Zinyak standing by a teacher's desk. The Boss saw the rest of his Saints across the deranged classroom, all of them also tied to their school-chairs and slowly waking up from their beatings. Now that he had gained the attention of his students, Zinyak rose to begin his teaching.

'Silence my students, class is in session…The first subject, is English Literature, my personal favourite. Today, we will be reading an excerpt from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_, and I would like some volunteers to play out some of the roles…' Zinyak began, he began pacing around the front of the room, stroking his jawline whilst Johnny and Pierce squirmed in their seats, trying to break free. 'Hmm…I think Shaundi shall play the role of Hermia, Johnny the role of Demetrius, the President the role of Lysander and Ms. Kensington the role of Helena.'

'Zinyak, fuck your role-playing shit, time to subject you to my fists motherfucker.' Johnny snared, Matt and Shaundi chuckled at his assertion whilst Zinyak just glared at him, then clicked his fingers.

'Disobedience will not be tolerated…You will obey_ me_.' Zinyak ordered, three wardens ploughed into the room so furiously they broke the front door of the class off its hinges. They activated their fire buff ability and surrounded Johnny, causing him to sweat under the surreal heat. 'Either you will answer to my rules, or you…Will…Burn.'

'Where are your books then, Zinyak?' Benjamin demanded to know, Zinyak smiled at his pragmatism and waved his arm across the room, as copies of A Midsummer Night's Dream fabricated out of the air and floated in front of the Saints' faces. Unbeknownst to Zinyak, Keith had previously taken to wearing sunglasses before his last venture into the simulation, and so no one had realised he nodded off in class.

'Now, let's begin with an excerpt of a scene within Act Three, in which our mismatched lovers are lost through the enchanted forest, where they finally fall prey to their true emotions. Our Lysander shall begin his line here.' Zinyak began, he pointed on the Boss's book where he had to begin speaking his lines, and as Kinzie began reading through her book, she had leant forward enough to move the pages of the book with her teeth to carefully analyse the play.

'Fuck it…"Why should you think I should woo in scorn? Scorn and derision never come in tears: look, when I vow, I weep; and vows so born, In their nativity all truth appears".' The Boss began, Zinyak paced around the room smiling to himself as the Boss submitted to his games, and watched over Matt and Shaundi, whom were scratching at the bounds that kept them to their chair, and Zinyak clicked his fingers for the wardens to move towards them. Unexpectedly however, this meant that Johnny could recover from the heatwave and return to trying to escape.

'Wait, how is any of this "_truth_"?' Kinzie interrupted, Zinyak glared at her aggravated whilst Matt cowered upon the thuds of his pacing, and Keith finally awakened. 'In this play, Demetrius and Hermia are meant to be betrothed, and Demetrius hates Helena. How is it all of a sudden they fall in love just to give a happy ending?'

'Students shall raise their hands if they wish to ask a question!' Zinyak snapped, he had turned his back on Kinzie, but after mulling over her words, returned to her. 'It is through the cunning and kindness of the fairies that these lovers find peace with their correct partner, and a happy ending is truly reached.'

'But Demetrius tries to marry Hermia for her wealth; now that he is with Helena, will he become as poor as her? And before you started this lesson, why haven't you introduced us to the fairies beforehand? What reason do they have for meddling in the lives of humans?' Matt criticised, Zinyak began listening to his questions and grew confused over everything she said, trying to collect his arguments together.

' …The fairies intervened because they felt the pain and heartache of the love the four heroes went through, just as the fairies went through…And I didn't think the fairies would be important.' Zinyak muttered, the wardens were now growing bored of not inflicting agony onto their captives and the Boss began to laugh outloudly at Zinyak.

'But if they play such a large role in bringing the characters together, doesn't that make them important?' Asha interrogated, Matt and Benjamin started trying to ask questions simultaneously, which made Zinyak grow even more frustrated.

'ENOUGH!' Zinyak roared, he wafted his arms across the classroom again and long steel wires wrapped around the mouths of Benjamin, Shaundi, Matt and Kinzie, so that they couldn't dare question Zinyak's intellect. 'I will not have disobedience or differences of opinions in this classroom!'

'This isn't disobedience Zinyak, this is your students asking questions about their schoolwork, and how do you expect us to recite this play if Shaundi plays Hermia, and you've shut her up?' The Boss snared and questioned, Keith drunkenly laughed hysterically and almost fell off his chair at the class clown, and as Zinyak began clawing at his own face, he had realised he had reached an impasse with the class.

'Damnit! It is time…For the next lesson. Wardens – Take the President to the detention unit, I will not waste my patience on him!' Zinyak snapped, amazingly, he had suffered a substantial mental breakdown so much that he managed to punch his whole fist through the wall of the blackboard so hard, it created a hole in the wall. The Saints could see for a split second that they were in the Henry Steel Mills District and the building they were in was now glitching in and out.

…

Seven minutes later

'Alright my students, settle down now, it is time for the next lesson; IT. In front of you are some of the first modern models of human computers, stripped of all tacky unnecessary applications and digital documents that derive your technology from its true potential.' Zinyak announced, the copies of A Midsummer's Night Dream disappeared and were replaced by early 21st century models of computers, and now the Saints were allowed to gain access to the computers with their arms, but still bound to the chairs.

'Seems simple enough; what do we have to do?' Benjamn quizzed, he and Pierce were now in good moods as the computer screen was clearly well organised and simple to use, and Zinyak's sadistic smirk faded at their peace.

'I wish for you to write a factfile of the history of computer evolution.' Zinyak commanded, Benjamin and the Boss simply nodded at how seemingly easy it was, whilst Kinzie and Matt glanced at each other, knowing something was not quite right.

'Sounds easy enough.' Shaundi agreed, the Saints began tapping on their keyboards and clicked on the Internet icon to begin searching for the history, however were faced with an unexpected problem.

'WHY ARE WE USING WINDOWS EXPLORER SEVEN!?' Matt shrieked, using outdated technology was to him the true bane of everything that was wrong with the world. He and Kinzie began frantically tapping away on their computers to try and get on with their subjection, whilst Johnny simply started aggressively at the white screen of the computer.

'I feel that originality is always simple enough to enjoy. Now, I advise you not to click too much on your computers as you'll just slow it down, and this factfile must be fully written within the hour.' Zinyak answered in a humorous manner, Matt was now foaming and what appeared to have been pulling his hair out. Keith meanwhile was so drunk he had failed to turn his computer screen on and log in.

'How can you expect us to complete this work if the resources we're using aren't sufficient?' Ben queried in a sophisticated manner, hoping to at the very least gain Zinyak's civility, however the obnoxious alien overlord simply strode around the classroom and ignored Ben, whilst the wardens activated their freeze buff ability to subtly slow down the students.

After a long silent five minutes, Johnny glanced over to the anxious Kinzie who was trying to turn her computer on and off to achieve something, and realised that without the Boss, it was up to him to make the rash decisions to allow the crew to save them.

'Fuck it, I think I'll strip this thing down alright…' Johnny announced, he brazingly lunged his fist through the whole computer screen and ripped out dozens of small multi-coloured wires from within it, and its electricity burst everywhere, slightly harming one of the nearby wardens. The room began to glitch again as Zinyak's fury strengthened alongside his attention, and the Wardens began attacking Johnny for his disobedience. 'Nothing to cover it up; God I _love_ stripping things down!'

'There is no need for these shenanigans! You do not have the time for it!' Zinyak barked, he teleported over to Johnny's desk and slammed his face brutally into the computer screen, enough for him to draw a horrid pool of crimson blood over his face. Shaundi began trying to fidget and escape from her bonds which gripped Zinyak's attention more.

'Hey Zinyak, I got a joke for you; what do you call an alien missing one eye?' Pierce asked, thinking rapidly off the top of his head to draw his attention, Keith had awoken once again from sleeping and was listening intently to Pierce's joke, whilst Kinzie began fiddling around with her computer.

'For Pete's sake, get on with your futile attempts at humour then…' Zinyak submitted, his patience was running out as he pointed for the wardens to begin torturing Shaundi whilst the floating candles in the room began to dim out, and the darkness preyed deeply onto the whole classroom. Only Pierce's face became visible as everyone tried to come closer to his seemingly brilliant joke.

'Alen.' Pierce replied, everyone sat in the room glaring at him, expecting him to say a little more but didn't understand his joke, and Zinyak sat with his deep black eyes, omnisciently waiting for more feedback.

'Why in all of Earth's intelligence, would you call a one-eyed alien Alen? That makes no sense!' Zinyak shrieked, he truly was frustratingly confused as he began throwing the desks across the room and almost attacked one of the wardens, whilst Keith carefully came to a conclusion in his head as to the punchline of Pierce's joke. Kinzie continued tapping onto the computer and finally reached somewhere in her plan, as a black screen with dozens of green numerical codes appeared, and she began working properly.

'Honestly? I don't know what's more depressing more; Pierce uttering the most embarrassing of jokes, or the fact none of you understand the most obvious of gags…' Asha loudly questioned, Pierce was amazed that the only person in the entire room who had understood his joke was Asha, whilst Matt obnoxiously pretended to have understood it too just to feel he was on Asha's level of intellect.

'He's missing one eye – That sounds like the letter 'I', haha! And you call yourself a fan of English literature! You're just an illiterate pink-ass ape Zinyak!' Pierce laughed, now Keith and Johnny were laughing alongside him as Matt mimicked them a few moments later, and even the sounds of the wardens gurgling in a musical union suggested the whole room were mocking Zinyak. He could not tolerate this.

'ENOUGH!' Zinyak snapped once again, two more wardens entered the room and began pounding onto the ground and causing an earthquake with their superpowers, and the Saints rocked back and forth in their chairs as they tried to withstand the power of the earthquake. Benjamin's stomach almost swallowed his pancreas as he felt his own vomit coming up his mouth, and Johnny could almost be heard wooing over the noise, revealing himself as an adrenaline junkie.

'He calls the human race futile, but I think he's just jealous that we've evolved whilst he hasn't – That's why he's so obsessed over understanding English Literature!' Matt added, he was trying to keep the momentum of the mockery going as the group laughed in a louder union, however Zinyak now signalled Matt out of the crowd, and began walking over to him as the room continued to glitch in and out.

'There! Done it!' Kinzie cried, she had somehow managed to break the codings of Zinyak's simulation so that the room had turned back into an ordinary warehouse within the Henry Steel Mills district.

The bounds that had previously trapped the Saints disappeared, whilst the Boss strangely sprang out of nowhere into his previous seat. Zinyak's fury increased as he was flabbergasted by Kinzie's tactfulness, and as Kinzie began tapping onto the computer further, she had made an error by starting Zinyak's next lesson; music. Mozart's Symphony 25 was played across the whole warehouse as Zinyak began humming to it, and the rest of the Saints simply grew bored at what was happening.

'Ah, a classical note to calm the nerves. I see what you are all doing, but your futility will not work!' Zinyak resounded, he began to get into the rhythm of the music and generated more wardens to appear out of thin air, which began attacking the Saints and pushed them to the ground.

'Kinzie! We're going to need some weapons here! Something to keep Zinyak off guard!' The Boss demanded, Johnny grit his teeth at the Boss's harsh dependence onto Kinzie as she continued to sit with the computer, activating code after code as Matt watched over her to assist.

'I-I need more time! You're going to have to distract him long enough for me – Overpower his music preferences with something he'll detest!' Kinzie replied, the wardens were now growling as they spat blood out of their mouths, one of them had managed to pin Asha to the ground with one claw whilst squeezing Matt with the other and smashing him into the ground. Zinyak stood trying to regain control of the simulation, the interior of the classroom slowly visibly returning.

'Pierce! Sing some _Justin Bieber_ songs, that'll piss him off!' The Boss demanded, as Pierce tried to fight against a warden alongside Johnny with his bare hands, he stood frightened by what the Boss told him to do, and had to shout out against it.

'Aw hell nah, I'd rather die in a virtual hellhole with some aliens and monsters clawing my face off, rather than sing some of that pussy's squeaky shit!' Pierce objected with force, Asha was now chuckling slightly at the Boss's demands even though one of the Wardens' claws were trying to suffocate her, however fortunately Benjamin rushed to her rescue as he jumped on the warden from behind, took off one of his shoes, and used the heel to pierce it's eye.

'Wait! Wait I got an idea Pierce! Three words – Tour de Farce! You know what I'm talking about!' The Boss realised, Pierce's eyes lit up as he discovered what the Boss was asking of him as he looked to Kinzie, who was one of the few Saints to have unfortunately learnt about the Boss and Pierce's crazed crusade on that terrible day. Why did Pierce wear those clothes?

'Shit, you sure? I mean, Gat's here now, you sure he isn't going to bite my head off?' Pierce quizzed, he had gained Johnny's attention as he looked confused whilst finishing off one of the wardens, then lunged for Zinyak as the entire classroom had now been recreated again, and Johnny's face slammed directly into one of the desks, and blood rushed out of his half-broken nose.

'Just do it already!' Kinzie snapped, Pierce's clothes quickly changed into those of Aisha's old rapping clothes, and through changing some of the coding signals within the computer, she had somehow managed to create speakers throughout the whole classroom and gave Pierce a microphone, but before he even got a chance to question how Kinzie was doing any of this, Keith barked at him to begin singing whilst trying to recover from his drunkenness.

'Haha alriiiiight! Let's go! Baby love the way you mooove, get on da floor, with what chu doing, and rank you some moar! Wrong with, having a little fun with! It's bouncin'! It's pumpin'! _Bounce like my checks did, back in the day_! Before I got this paper! Before I got paid! You know – I own this dream in some way! We can _bounce like my checks did_ back in the day!' Pierce began singing, Kinzie's planning was working as Zinyak withered in pain and hid his head in his hands, trying to concentrate his power onto the simulation, but it was futile. The classroom completely faded and now the wardens were losing their power.

'Pierce…What the fuck?' Johnny mumbled, he stood glaring at Pierce whilst choking one of the wardens with his right hand, then snapped it's neck with the other, still not shifting his attention from Pierce wearing his dead girlfriend's old clothes. The Saints now had access to their weapons and superpowers and were now turning the tide against Zinyak.

'This changes nothing…Th-This was just a demonstration, a taster of what is to come. Don't think you've gained any ground here Saints – I'm not finished with you!' Zinyak growled, he had fallen to the ground of the floor and found himself defeated by the Saints; the Boss walked over to the master of the Zin and began firing his Shokolov rifle at him, however just as it began to inflict damage, Zinyak teleported.

'Well shit…Guess it's time for recess, huh?' The Boss chuckled, now Zinyak and the wardens had all disappeared, and it was just the Saints alone in the warehouse. As they all cheered in victory, Keith began to stumble through the crowd, and had begun to suffer from a powerful hangover, whilst Kinzie stood amongst the group, silent and agitated.

'Mr-Mr David, why are you drinking so heavily?' Matt queried politely, both Asha and Shaundi were concerned at the actor's need to drink heavily, and as the group closed in together, the Boss and Johnny looked over to Kinzie, who was facing the ground with her face.

'I miss my family, my friends, even the jerk directors I had to work for…Some days I think I'm not needed in this fight against the Zin, you've all got Johnny Gat back for Pete's sake. I want to join the people I cared about again, I need to stop feeling alone.' Keith snivelled, the Saints joined him in his grieving as they begun to remember all those they had lost and not properly grieved for after the death of the Earth. Oleg for Pierce, Josh Birk for Matt, Troy for the Boss and Johnny, and Viola for Kinzie, and Shaundi though she wouldn't admit it.

'In all the years I've been leading the Saints, something weird kept happening; I started to care. I've trained and led the Saints to fight off assholes, not as a power-hungry gang who just want to take over the world, but as a family…Protecting their own. Keith, if you want to join those you miss, I'll let you if that's what you really want, but I'm not going to until Zinyak's dead. I'm not going to carry on living knowing you didn't get your shot at Zinyak.' The Boss declared, all of the Saints were moved by his words as the Boss gave Keith some dap, and the Saints began walking out of the warehouse. Kinzie was toddling along in the back and Johnny had to ask what was wrong with her.

'Hey, chin up; we stopped Zinyak, things are moving on up for us.' Johnny praised, however this was not Kinzie's problem.

'That's not what frustrates me; every time we all get kidnapped, or attacked, or even decide to go off into the middle east to coordinate international assassinations, it's always up to _me_ to save the day. Not the Boss, not you, not Matt; me. I can't live with the pressure anymore, I mean I know I can handle everything; I'm a living deus-ex-machina, but people need to stop depending on me.' Kinzie answered, Johnny understand her pain as Shaundi and Benjamin overheard their conversation.

'Kinzie look, don't worry you don't have to worry. I'll talk to the Boss, get him to cosy up to Matt and King more, and I'll start learning the ropes of computers. Shouldn't be too hard.' Johnny comforted, even with his great charisma, he was struggling for words, however his attention for Kinzie was enough for the young hacker to lift her head up and began giggling along with him.

'Hacking? Oh I'll _have_ to teach you sometime…Thanks Johnny.'

'Anytime...Kinzie'

* * *

**And there is also the beginning of pairings within this series! But you'll have to look carefully between the lines for all of the pairing hints! Be sure to leave a review below and the next episode will be up soon!**


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